2024

I feel soooo thankful that I got to see Gavin, and he is such a very good person!!! He drove after work all of the way to spend Christmas with us! And then after dinner turned and went back to spend time with his dad and be back in work again today! And my parents did all of the work to make dinner and give us all so much Christmas money. I ate soooo much. I loved it. If I had ever felt more thankful I honestly do not remember when that was. I had a perfect day, well, I honestly would have liked to see Lena and Brooksie in person, but, they are adults now and do as they please. It was a very nice Christmas, and one of my institute students gave me a Christmas ornament. That is just the topping on the cake, or and to top that, Mary woke up and exited herhoom and promptly hugged me then went back to her room!

Live is really good sometimes!

not gratitude but equally wooo woo

I am in the same state of mind as when I began this gratitude journal. 

Have you ever been stuck? The best way to demonstrate it is through a song by Anna in Frozen II ( https://youtu.be/kFkClV2gM-s?si=atKwvt_xIQmH5vv3 )

I started a gratitude Journal to get my thoughts/mind off something I could no longer do that I thought defined me. It worked, but, it seems like something from an out there self love/help book. But, I am trying to eradicate a behavior to waste my time hence my life on things that do not allow my focus to be on what it ought to be.

When I was a teenager. I was at this sort of conference where there were classes but, no one said to take any, and many of the classes were denied to anyone without the prerequisites.  I got lucky and figured the entire situation out instantly, this was life! And many leaders were confusing other teens not in getting them to do bad things, that would be too obvious, but by causing focus on things like video games, immediate comforts, etc many were kept from using their time adequately to qualify for their intended goal... got it?

So, I keep returning to games to make money to accomplish my big purposes. But, this morning, I had the best idea, although when I explained it to my daughter it truly sounded like a "new age" "out there" "crazy" idea.

I am doing it, partially right now. The idea is that I resolve to become a wiser person. It is not even January, can I make resolustikn right now? Sure. So, I have started running and practicing my piano daily, and right now I am trying to get in the routine of always resting a few hours each day.

We watched a television game show where people are sleep deprived and asked to do the simplest tasks and they fail. I have been sleep deprived for years, and thought, I bet that is effecting my brain. So, to become wiser, I am going to rest each day, and make that as important as any other thing like exercise or scripture study.

Trouble I'd that when I lay down my brain goes into overdrive reminding me of everything I ought to he accomplishing. So, I sit or lay and play games trying to convert my time into money because I need to be able to afford a few things to improve my life.... well, those games are wasting my life and intentions and making my life worse, so I will as soon as I am done here, deny myself any device for a few hours per day, so I must rest and maybe be more deliberate in my time spent using my phone. Also, my bad director chastized me when I started presenting all of my valid excuses for not being able to practice, he just said, "where there's a will there's a way." I will find a better way to get the things that I need to improve my life.

So, like a gratitude journal to replace despondency with gratitude, I hope to replace device dependence with peace of mind, through rest.